Talitha Koum

49 more days

2009-11-06T06:45:00.003-06:00

Don't really have time this morning to post so it's going to be short - ha

Tell me how this is - I'M the one with the countdown and yet I lost track of the time and now have to scramble this weekend!!!!

Mainly it's a Thanksgiving deadline which is in 20 days - little over 2 weeks!!! HELLO!!

Anyways this weekend should look like this:
Work until 4
Go home and change into work clothes (manual labor work clothes I mean)
Run to Wal-Mart or Hobby Lobby to get the paint I'm going to need this weekend to paint a manger scene, angel and star - and paint pens as well as glass ornaments for an order for my mom and friend.
Run to Home Depot and get plywood, and metal poles, along with the hardware for the backs.

Then it's home to either clean or start and finish the ornaments - either way they're getting done tonight

Tomorrow it's going over the GPs (grandparents) to use their backyard to trace and cut out the pieces, lunch for Grandparents day and then home to start painting those pieces. I don't know if I'll be able to finish - I think I will in one day but we'll see. Depends on when I get home from their house.

As always plans are likely to change - but what must get accomplished in any order:
Painted ornaments - completed
cut out and painted yard art
dessert for the GPs and lunch with them

So there you have it folks. Don't expect an update over the weekend but I think I will be posting pics once it's all done.

Peace out bloggers

Still 50 days . . .

2009-11-05T13:12:00.002-06:00

I need your help.

I checked this out, and it's not a scam. Snopes site here

You all know how much I love Christmas - well this little boy loves it too and his wish before his cancer claims his life is to have Christmas early - by receiving Christmas cards. Something so easy and cheap - ANYONE can do it! Here's the story.

Please help me flood this little boy with love. His name is Noah Biorkman, he's only 5-years-old, and he's in the last stages of a 2 1/2 year fight with cancer. :( He's not expected to live much longer, so their family is celebrating Christmas early. And what does he want most of all? - Christmas cards! That is more than do-able for every single one of us. Please, as soon as possible (preferably today), buy or make a Christmas card for this little one, and send it to:
Noah Biorkman,
1141 Fountain View Circle,
South Lyon, MI 48178.

And don't forget to pray for him and his sweet family. ♥

50 more days!!!

2009-11-05T06:49:00.002-06:00

We're halfway through our countdown people!!! 50 more shopping days until Christmas - and for those whose mouths are watering for the yumminess of; turkey, dressing, stuffing, green bean casserole, and dinner monkey bread - heck - breakfast monkey bread for that matter. . . . there are only 21 more days until the Thanksgiving Day Parade and Thanksgiving food!!! Mmmmm. . . .my favorite meal of the entire year.

Follow if you can my train of thought here. Time flies so fast for me, always has. School flew, thankfully (was not a fan of school), and my years seem to slip by.

Time.

Moving from childhood, to young adult, to grown adult . . . when does that actually happen?

I mean don't get me wrong I know that I'm not a child (though I might still act like it sometimes), and I realize that I'm no longer a teen (haven't been that for years) but when do you actually move from young adult to adult?

I was thinking about this yesterday when a good friend of mine made the comment that I'm not a junior member of the mission team at my church. It's true - I still think of myself as that youth/young adult who always helped out where ever she could but was never really considered an adult - ok - so maybe that is a self imposed thought - but really - what constitutes being an adult.

Dictionary.com says that an adult is:
a person who is fully grown or developed or of age.

Doesn't help to much - nothing concrete there. What does of age mean? Of age to smoke, drink - not that I do either.

Are you considered an adult when you marry or when you have kids (that can't be right when there are 15 year olds having kids). Are you an adult when you feel like you are one, or when society treats you like one. Are you an adult when you start behaving like one, when you start making large purchases like a car or house. Are you an adult when you have so much debt you can't breath. Are you considered an adult when you stop shooting milk out of your nose even if you still blow bubbles in it (not that I would EVER do either of those things - I'm just sayin)

What about moving from girl to woman? When does that happen. Again is it when you marry, or have kids.

The best place to go for answers is ALWAYS scripture and as you've probably guess I went to the Proverbs Woman:

Scripture says that a Godly woman (Proverbs 31)

The Woman Who Fears the LORD

10 An excellent wife who can find? She is far more precious than jewels.

(Ok - so she's a wife )

11The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain.

(she is trustworthy)

12She does him good, and not harm, all the days of her life.

(treats her husband with respect)

13She seeks wool and flax, and works with willing hands.

(hard worker)

14She is like the ships of the merchant; she brings her food from afar.

(hard worker)

15She rises while it is yet night and provides food for her household

(hard worker - I'm seeing a pattern here!)

and portions for her maidens.

(She is generous)

16She considers a field and buys it; with the fruit of her hands she plants a vineyard.

(she's not dependant on her husband for everything - yet what she earns goes for her family)

17She dresses herself with strength and makes her arms strong.

(confident and strong)

18She perceives that her merchandise is profitable. Her lamp does not go out at night.

(again she's not lazy)

19She puts her hands to the distaff, and her hands hold the spindle.

(while her vineyard is growing and she can't do anything else - she find another way to provide)

20She opens her hand to the poor and reaches out her hands to the needy.

(giving)

21She is not afraid of snow for her household, for all her household are clothed in scarlet

(this one I don't really understand . .. help?)

22She makes bed coverings for herself; her clothing is fine linen and purple.

(she treats herself with respect)

23Her husband is known in the gates when he sits among the elders of the land.

(she married a good man)

24She makes linen garments and sells them; she delivers sashes to the merchant.

(Man - this chick is always working!)

25 Strength and dignity are her clothing, and she laughs at the time to come.

(strong woman)

26She opens her mouth with wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.

(wise but not boastful. Teaching suggests she doesn't push her wisdom on others)

27She looks well to the ways of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness.

(hard worker)

28Her children rise up and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her:

29"Many women have done excellently, but you surpass them all."

(her family respects her)

30 Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.

(sorry - but can't help but think of the DC Talk song EVERY time I read this)

(she fears the Lord)

31Give her of the fruit of her hands, and let her works praise her in the gates.

(she gets credit for what she has accomplished)

So the thing that repeats to me over and over is "hard worker" - at least that's what I got out of it.

I think after all this what it comes down to is a mixture of things and not one thing by itself. I think it's a combination of personal strength and mind set, the way a person; carries themselves, think and behave. I think that as they mature the devious childish things no longer hold the appeal that they once did, and they aren't afraid to still take part in the fun loving childish things. I don't think it's dependant on marriage or having children - though those things surely can cause one to "grow up" more quickly than someone who isn't and hasn't.

So world - at the age of 27, as someone who is unmarried and doesn't have kids - I can say with confidence that I am a grown woman. I will no longer refer to myself as a baby (which I tend to do at work or around certain groups of people) and I will step up to the responsibilities that I have with confidence knowing that I was chosen to take them on because those who chose me knew that I could handle it.

Funny - I don't feel any different ;)

Still 51 more days

2009-11-04T15:18:00.002-06:00

I know - gasp - two posts in one day!!!

But I just needed the world to know that I'm getting REALLY tired of my hair and am thinking about chopping it off again!! It wasn't bad when it was curly but it's been straight for a few days now and it's boo!! So I'll either go back to curly or if I get adventurous I might just chop it off before church tonight.

We'll see.

51 More days

2009-11-04T13:16:00.003-06:00

Can't believe it's been so long since I've posted - what's this world coming to?

Well since then I've looked like this: This was my Halloween costume for Karaoke night at Brittmore. (and no I didn't have wings - just what was on my face. though there was a Victoria secret model who I could have borrowed wings from but that would have taken over half the material on her body away and she needed it more than I did!! Actually she needed a LOT more but I digress.)

What else. . . . .

Oh - we had Going Global last Sunday and I think it was a great success. There was a lot of interest from people who had never before gone on mission trips, and a renewed interest from those who had gone in the past. I look forward to what God will do through all the trips.

Umm. . . I think that's all for now. but I promise to be back tomorrow for the big 5-0 day!

58 More Days - (til Christmas)

2009-10-28T06:48:00.002-05:00

Tonight I'm going to be a busy girl. I volunteered to paint faces at a fair that a friend of mine is having at her job. She asked months ago and of course I said yes since I hadn't painted in about a year and I didn't want my painting muscles to atrophy. She's a nurse that (I believe) works with diabetic kids and their office is having a fall festival kind of night. No candy of course :) but there are prizes and lots of fun activities!

Well since that time I told Susan that I would run the missions part of the Music and Missions (which I've been LOVING by the way). So tonight I get to go face paint until about 6:30 or so and then head over to Grand Parkway for party night with my kids!! Woo hoo!!

What about you - any fun plans this evening?

59 More days

2009-10-27T06:54:00.004-05:00

Well we've made it into the 50's people!! Where has the time gone. Next week we'll be at the halfway mark - wow!!

The weather this week has been great - cool, though yesterday was a little rainy. I wish it would stay cool for say. . . . until FEBRUARY like it's supposed to but I'll take what I can get.

I busted out another light sweater for today. I'm sure it's going to get warmer - but I don't spend much time outside and it's pretty chilly in my office so it works. I don't know - there's just something about wearing sweaters and warm clothes - too bad the temps outside don't make that very possible.

I don't have much to say today - other than about the weather. There's lots swirling around my head - just not much that would make sense out of it. Still chewing on - The Truth must dazzle gradually or everyone be blind - along with all the scriptures I posted a few days earlier.

I hope you all have a great day!

Oh- Thanksgiving is only 31 days away - I'm just sayin!!! :-)

P.S. - I'm about to get some hot chocolate because it's so stinkin cold in my office. Mother Nature - please take some notes!!!

60 More days

2009-10-26T06:38:00.002-05:00

Ok -so there really is no update on the situation with my sisters other than I've been reading and praying and have a time set up with my other sister on Tues to talk about it. I filled her in a little bit about my concerns and the scriptures I was reading so that I wouldn't ambush her with this kind of news - I didn't want her on the defensive like I knew she would have been - I want prayed over words and thoughts. Our opinions don't mean anything.

And last week I found a note that I had written from a message my pastor (I think) preached a long time ago.

The Truth must dazzle gradually or everyone be blind.

I think that is SO pertinent to this situation. With talking to Sarah, and then talking with Rach and Susanna.

So God I pray that You would begin to speak Your truth in their lives through the people around them. Begin to reveal to them that they are far from You and need to return.

Thank you again to all those out there that I know are praying for my sisters. One person in particular - your sister has been on my mind and in my prayers also!

64 More days

2009-10-22T07:05:00.004-05:00

I don't know what was in the air last night - or water - or food. . . . but the kids at music and missions were CRAZY!!! (don't worry Marcie - Sophie was wonderful and not to be counted among this group - Laura - after you left Jacob was actually pretty good as well!!)

But all the rest acted like they'd each had a 6 pack of Jolt right before they came in - jeepers creepers!!!

I will say that as crazy as it was - I really hope the craft we made makes it home and that they actually do pray for our missionaries and not just throw it away.

Every child got a laminated world map and we had stickers for each of our missionaries or missions that we support. I went one missionary - mission at a time and had them put a star on that sticker and then the same color star on the map where they are located. (this was a little more difficult for some than others). But I think the idea was a good one. I kept telling them over and over - even if you can't read yet, or don't remember how to pray for those families or missions on the stickers if you just pray for the red stars, or the blue stars - God would know!!

This was all in an attempt to get them a little more prepared for our Going Global day at Grand Parkway - a time when we lay out all the mission opportunities for our church to get involved.

Oh and a little freebie for ya - don't worry about taking a shower this morning if you forgot your umbrella in the CAR and you parked about 30 yards from the staircase to your apartment - oh and don't worry about shoes cause when you step off the curb to get in your car - yeah the water will be up above the shoe line! Just an FYI! I'm here for ya!

65 More Days

2009-10-21T06:33:00.002-05:00

I think it's safe to say that my once a day posting is out the window - but I'm still really proud of myself for posting as much as I have and continuing to post even when I mess up my goal. (freebie - I generally - once I have something in mind to do - diet, read my bible everyday . . . . if I mess up even once I throw it ALL out the window - so this is progress I think).

S0 - about my last post.

Sorry to throw such heavy stuff at you all, but this is my place to vent and get out all my joys, excitement, plans, ideas, and fears. But you know what my favorite thing about sharing with people who know God and know His word - they don't just give idle/pointless "encouragement" like:

"It'll be alright" - I'm sorry - I just realized there is a really REAL possibility that two of the people I love most in the world are headed towards HELL and you're going to tell me it's alright!!! SERIOUSLY?!?!? Thankfully no ones been that foolish.

or
"I'm sure that God has a plan for them". I'm sure he does but YOUR words don't help me.

What I love is when God lovin' scripture readin people see a problem and instead of giving their own fallible ideas or thoughts they go straight to the Word. For example - a good friend pointed me to these scriptures about Salvation:

Matt. 24: 9-14
9 "Then they will deliver you up to tribulation and put you to death, and you will be hated by all nations for my name’s sake. 10 And then many will fall away and betray one another and hate one another. 11 And many false prophets will arise and lead many astray. 12 And because lawlessness will be increased, the love of many will grow cold. 13 But the one who endures to the end will be saved. 14 And this gospel of the kingdom will be proclaimed throughout the whole world as a testimony to all nations, and then the end will come.

But the one who endures to the end will be saved.

2 Tim. 2:7-15
7 Think over what I say, for the Lord will give you understanding in everything.
8Remember Jesus Christ, risen from the dead, the offspring of David, as preached in my gospel, 9 for which I am suffering, bound with chains as a criminal. But the word of God is not bound! 10 Therefore I endure everything for the sake of the elect, that they also may obtain the salvation that is in Christ Jesus with eternal glory. 11 The saying is trustworthy, for: If we have died with him, we will also live with him; 12 if we endure, we will also reign with him; if we deny him, he also will deny us; 13 if we are faithless, he remains faithful—

Colossians 1:19-23
19 For in him all the fullness of God was pleased to dwell, 20 and through him to reconcile to himself all things, whether on earth or in heaven, making peace by the blood of his cross.
21 And you, who once were alienated and hostile in mind, doing evil deeds, 22 he has now reconciled in his body of flesh by his death, in order to present you holy and blameless and above reproach before him, 23 if indeed you continue in the faith, stable and steadfast, not shifting from the hope of the gospel that you heard, which has been proclaimed in all creation under heaven, and of which I, Paul, became a minister.

Hebrews 10
10 And by that will (Hw 10:8-9) we have been sanctified through the offering of the body of Jesus Christ once for all.

12 But when Christ had offered for all time a single sacrifice for sins, he sat down at the right hand of God, 13 waiting from that time until his enemies should be made a footstool for his feet. 14 For by a single offering he has perfected for all time those who are being sanctified.
15 And the Holy Spirit also bears witness to us; for after saying, 16 "This is the covenant that I will make with them after those days, declares the Lord:I will put my laws on their hearts, and write them on their minds,"
17 then he adds, "I will remember their sins and their lawless deeds no more."

26 For if we go on sinning deliberately after receiving the knowledge of the truth, there no longer remains a sacrifice for sins, 27 but a fearful expectation of judgment, and a fury of fire that will consume the adversaries. 28 Anyone who has set aside the law of Moses dies without mercy on the evidence of two or three witnesses. 29 How much worse punishment, do you think, will be deserved by the one who has spurned the Son of God, and has profaned the blood of the covenant by which he was sanctified, and has outraged the Spirit of grace? 30For we know him who said, "Vengeance is mine; I will repay." And again,"The Lord will judge his people." 31 It is a fearful thing to fall into the hands of the living God.

I'll need to ponder these for a while.

My friend also gave me some more words of wisdom - I can not know the true heart of my sisters, whether they are like the prodigal or like the seeds choked by the weeds - but what I do know is that they are actively, in full knowledge sinning deliberately even though they know the truth and that scares me!

Please continue to pray with me.

69, 68, 67 More days

2009-10-19T15:32:00.002-05:00

Sorry - it's been a CRAZY weekend.

Don't really have the time to go into everything right now - but believe me I need to.

Let's just say I finally came to realize something that made my heart shatter into a thousand pieces and I almost lost all that was in my stomach.

There's always been something about the way that my sisters live their lives that I was against. well apart from the obvious. One is living with her boyfriend while the other one is with someone and has done (probably still doing) things she shouldn't.

I've known it was wrong and known it was a sin - but it wasn't until something my pastor said on Wed in a completely different context and the conversation that my Home Group had last night that I came to the realization that I never let myself get to before - and that is that my sisters are not headed to the same place I am.

1 Corinthians 6

9 Or do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God?

Do not be deceived: neither the sexually immoral,

nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor men who practice homosexuality,

10 nor thieves, nor the greedy, nor drunkards,

nor revilers, nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God.

11 And such were some of you. But you were washed, you were sanctified,

you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God.

If they were to repent it would be different but if they would die today without repenting than they will have sealed their own fate. To say that my chest has been ripped out my chest is an understatement. I feel as though I don't have one today. I'm so numb. All day I've been going through the motions, praying that God would give me the words, soften their hearts, kick their collective behinds. . .

I know there are people out there going to Hell. I know that there are friends of mine whose family members are going to Hell - but to realize that about my own sisters whom I love so much - it was too much to bear, and too much to talk about now. I'm starting to lose it again so I'm going to stop.

There are words. .

70 More days

2009-10-16T07:02:00.003-05:00

To say I had fun last night would be an understatement!!!

It would be like saying it get's cold in Russia.

So what was so fun last night?

I know you can't wait!

Karaoke!

I went to Karaoke with Laura and Joe at Churchill's and I had one of the best nights I've had in a LONG time!! Singing, laughing, Diet Coke, laughing and singing some more. Oh and LAUGHING!!

There were some very interesting characters there (and that's putting it lightly), and many of whom were already PAST inebriated at 9 pm when I first got there. Dancing, screaming, and most singing so off key they weren't even in the same stratosphere of the song - but I laughed the whole way through.

I sang two songs and got the end of what I was able to sing so Laura put a list together for me to learn.

Laura the wonder woman sang 4 times- one of those a duet with big biker dude (think BIG tough - with a vampire bite tattoo on his neck). Let me tell you - this dude was so funny. You'd think he'd sing these tough hard songs - oh no - soft - sweet - country love songs!!

HI-LAR-IOUS!!!

Oh - and then he asked her to dance!!! This is them.

I didn't get in until about 12:30-12:45 and didn't hit the sack until 1 - but I wouldn't change it for anything.

Hopefully we'll go out on Sat to the ice house for some more singing - come on out and join in the fun!!!

71 More days

2009-10-15T15:48:00.001-05:00

I don't have much time today to post - spent my lunch playing Farkle on Facebook!! Love that game. . . . . ok -I do have to say this.

If you are over the age of 30 - you have GOT to stop with the texting language; lol, gl, ty, tks, yw, . . . . .for the love people!!! SPELL IT OUT!!! It takes less than a second to type out thank you rather than ty. or good luck rather than gl. YOU ARE ADULTS!!! Seriously people - what's the world coming to!!

And I totally agree that LOL is something that is just written to fill the void when one can't think of anything else to say. . . . lol.

72 more days

2009-10-14T06:49:00.003-05:00

In an effort to be as transparent as possible with you my fellow bloggers I need to share something with you.

Many of you who've been following this blog for a while - heck - even a few days know a few things about me.

1. I love Christmas: what it stands for, all the decorations, the music, what the weather SHOULD be (not 98* w/ 200* humidity - thank you Houston). . . . and the list goes on.

2. I have a heart for missions and for the kids I left behind in Lopuhinka. Oksana, Vageef, Karina, Jenya. . . . and this list goes on!!!

3. I have money issues. . . .

I know you all are probably getting tired of me going through this - but - I work things better out by talking/writing through them and this IS my blog after all ;)

My parents were crappy with money (they are much better now - too bad they didn't teach me the good stuff!!) And I therefore learned by example and became wholly and completely crappy with money. It never really had any other value to me other than - I needed something it cost this much - I either had it (no matter how ridiculous the price) or I didn't. There was no saving to buy something, there was no - I can't afford that. It was - either I had it and spent it, or didn't have it and found a way to get it right then and there.

This resulted in 3 credit cards that have been maxed out - for a good - oh I'd say at least over 5 years and I'm being generous. Probably closer to 7 years. My interest rates on all of them were between 23 and 26%. When you're maxed out, with that high of an interest rate - there is no way to get those babies down. Especially if you keep putting things on the cards.

Well - I let this habit fester for so long it's become common place and I didn't know how to break the cycle.

In other areas of my financial life I really do think I've been more financially responsible. I have a Lane Bryant account - with a $100 limit. I go in once a month, buy something (generally 1 item) and pay off the entire amount when the bill comes in. I've been doing this for about a year now and it's becoming a habit - get and pay off immediately. I have two loans - school and car. I pay over the amount due on each one. I have an amount in my head of what each one should be and that's what I pay. The car is $50 over the amount and the school about 20 (I think - can't remember now what the original payment should be). I'm NEVER late on those loans!!

So why am I telling you all this - why am I walking through all this.

Well, I've been praying about missions, and what that looks like for me, and what it would mean to go into the mission field - and one thing that I've always known, and one thing that's been drilled into me by a really good friend, and one thing I've seen first hand - is you can not go into missions with debt.

I've always known that - but I think I always assumed that if God wanted me to go into missions he would pay off all the crap I got myself into. What I've come to realize is that he gave me a good head on my shoulders and two feet and only one bumm. I've got to get off my buhonkis and get proactive if I want to get out on that mission field and be usable by Him. I'm not saying taking the reigns and not allowing God to lead. Nope - I'm talking about being an active participant in what God's called me to do.

So that meant getting my debt in check. For years I've had plan upon plan, idea after idea, all with a 0% success rate. So I decided to change tactics. I looked over what I was currently doing - credit cards aside and I realized that I was really good with my loans.

Now before you get all hot and bothered hear me out.

I know that loans are bad. I know what the bible says about loans - but I also know that being in debt with credit cards is bad as well. I prayed about it for a long time and I can't explain it but there was a peace about it. I knew that if I got a loan to pay off the credit cards I WOULD pay it off, the interest would be lower, and I wouldn't be a slave to the credit card companies anymore!!

I called my bank - with whom I have a car loan at a good interest rate for my credit score with - and talked to them about what I could do. She said she would look into it and get back to me. I figured the worst she could do was say no. I'd be no worse off - better actually because I was actually being proactive!

I prayed and prayed about it. Talking with God, going over what I was feeling - is this really what I should be doing - am I just doing what I want. . . . you know all the doubts and fears. But this time instead of internalizing them I just gave them all to Him and again that amazing peace like no other came over me and I knew everything would be alright.

I had called on Fri, they were closed Sat and Sun, and Mon they were closed on holiday so I knew it would be Tues before I heard anything.

And wouldn't you know it - I got a call and was approved for the full amount I needed to pay off those three cards. The interest rate (remember the lowest I had on the cc was 23 and highest 26) was 10.25. Much better than I had, and with the payment I had worked out that I could make each month - the loan will be payed off Dec of 2010 - next year. So what I've been paying on for over 5 years (man I don't want to know how much I actually threw down THAT hole) will be almost paid off by this time next year!!!!

So I'm a little excited - thanking Jesus - and planning.

For those of you still with me - thank you! Here's what I've done. I've paid off my cards but I'm not canceling them. But I'm not keeping them either. I'm giving the two cards with the highest limit to my sister to hide and I'm keeping the other one.

Here is my promise to you my blogging family - I will NEVER get in the kind of credit card mess I was in before!! You will NEVER have to hear me whine and complain EVER AGAIN about what a terrible situation I'm in.

I think that's all I've got. Thanks again for those who stuck with me this long in my ramblings!!!

73 More days - till Christmas (for those of you wondering)

2009-10-13T06:41:00.006-05:00

Ok - I found this little dialogue on Facebook - and I've got to tell you it riled me up like no man's business!!! I had so much in me that I wanted to say but the interaction had finished on Friday and I didn't want to stir it up again.

I realize there are some people in the world who can not believe in a God that does not believe the same things they do. But I say - I cannot believe in a God that is dependant on what I believe. Who am I that God should look to me to set His standards. Who am I that God should look to me for advice. Who am I that my God who created the Universe with one word, who came down as a baby, lived a perfect life, and sacrificed Himself for me and all those who would one day enter His kingdom to a place He prepared for me. . . . .

WHO ARE WE TO SAY THAT HE NEEDS TO CONFORM TO WHAT WE THINK HE SHOULD BE!!!!

HOW DARE WE!!!!!!!!!

If God wants to create people with hardened hearts so that millions can come to Him (Pharaoh) - then that is up to HIM - not me. I know the scriptures - For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have everlasting life. But God is God and He does what HE wants - not what I think He should do or what makes sense in my tiny little mind.

This is the part that REALLY gets my pressure up . . . well one of the many:

"I need to know that I serve a God that can't bear to see any perish since that is my nature and I am made in his image. I I am created without the ability to do good unless God transforms my heart then I am dependent on Him for that. If he chooses not to transform me then I cannot choose good, therefore I cannot be blamed for my sin. This is a circular argument that goes nowhere. I believe he gives us ALL a chance to choose Him. "

You know I started to bold the things that I thought were wrong with that sentence and I ended up bolding it all!!! I mean seriously!!! You need to know that you serve a God that can't bear to see any perish - since that is MY nature and I am made in His image!!! Are you kidding me!!!!!

And then this comment:

"I prefer a loving God and would die if I knew he made some people to just give them NO CHOICE but to burn forever. I would die. That's not my God. I know him."

Really - you know Him . . . are you sure?

Hear what I'm getting at: I know God - I know that I'm His child, and I know that he loves me - what I'm talking about is the arrogance that someone could grasp the ways and thoughts and reasons of God.

Because my God is one that I will never understand, comprehend, or wrap my mind around. . . .and the day I do is the day that I know I'm not worshipping or serving the I AM. I'm no longer worshipping the God who has a storehouse for the mighty hurricanes, or can tell the snow to fall to the ground!!!!

Job 37:4-6 (ESV)
4 After it his voice roars; he thunders with his majestic voice,

and he does not restrain the lightnings when his voice is heard.

5God thunders wondrously with his voice;

he does great things that we cannot comprehend.

6For to the snow he says, 'Fall on the earth,'

likewise to the downpour, his mighty downpour.

God - thank you that I cannot comprehend the great things you do.

Lord - break the hearts of those who try to fit you into the little boxes they have created that will make their world, situations, life make sense. Show them how big you are, how glorious you are, how indescribable You are, how mighty You are, how perfect You are, how loving You are, how just You are, how merciful You are, God show them that even after a million years they could NEVER comprehend all of you. That they could never - after a lifetime of lifetimes contain you into the understanding of simple human minds.

Put people in their lives who will challenge their thinking and will not enable their small mindedness - people who will speak truth no matter how hard it is to hear. Let them go to the bible and have YOU guide their understanding - instead of trying to shove what they read into their own limited understanding of You. Let them drop all that they have preconceived and let them turn to you for wisdom and guidance.

I know that this can VERY easily get into a debate about predestination and Calvinism talk and the like. That's not what I want. I believe scripture and follow the truth where ever it leads. I believe that God does not want anyone to perish, (2 Peter 3:9 The Lord is not slow to fulfill his promise as some count slowness, but is patient toward you, not wishing that any should perish, but that all should reach repentance.) But I also believe scripture when it says that God hardens people's hearts. (Exodus 7:3 But I will harden Pharaoh’s heart, and though I multiply my signs and wonders in the land of Egypt, 4Pharaoh will not listen to you. Then I will lay my hand on Egypt and bring my hosts, my people the children of Israel, out of the land of Egypt by great acts of judgment.)

I had every intention of putting the full dialogue on here - but for selfish reasons so I decided against it (I would have taken down the names of all those involved first though). This post was not to get people on my side and against the people who wrote what I read, but to personally let out the frustration I have with people who have the arrogance to believe that God could ever fit within the realm of what THEY think he should.

Instead - I ask that you pray.

Pray specifically that closed minds would be opened, and that those who would continue to speak lies, and enable small minded thinking to stop. Just pray!

74 More days

2009-10-12T06:41:00.003-05:00

There's a lot I want to say from the sermon yesterday, as usual it was filled with good stuff - but it's gonna have to wait until lunch. Blog ya later!

75 More days

2009-10-12T06:40:00.001-05:00

Well the streak has been broken . . . . my "nap" after church turned into the longest nap EVER!! Went down at 7 and woke at my alarm at 5:30 this morning. Sorry!

76 more days

2009-10-10T08:56:00.003-05:00

I alluded yesterday in my first post that I had more to say about Russia, here it is.

Well I guess more about myself.

I know in the depths of my soul that I am called to Russia, I know that's where God is leading me. But what I don't want is to be one of those people who thinks that God has to everything so I'm going to sit on my behaunkus and wait for my debt to get paid off, language programs to fall in my lap, and all the money I need to go on the trip magically appear.

I know that I can not do anything without God. I know that God's way is the only way that I'm going to get there. But what I also know is that he's given me a good mind and and a heart to hear where he is calling me. We are not called to be bumps on a log and assume that everything is going to be handed to us on a silver platter. We must move where the spirit moves us, do what the spirit calls us to do.

Now if I'm wrong please tell me - no really I want to know. I also know that you/ I can get carried away in thinking that I'm doing and going where the Spirit wants when deep down I knew that it was really where I wanted the Spirit to lead me, and what the Spirit wanted me to do.

So what's that mean for me now.

Well I know that I can not go in to the mission field with debt over my head, and I've never done anything really proactive about it. Oh I've talked about getting rid of it, and and paying it off, but if I can be completely transparent with you guys - I haven't really. Oh sure - I pay my credit bills every month - but I also put charges right back on so it doesn't go anywhere. It's an endless cycle. I will be honest and say that sometimes I really do HAVE to use them but there are other times when I don't really but I do anyways. It's a terrible cycle.

So then what does THIS mean

I'm looking at alternate means for paying off my credit. I don't really know what that looks like - but I've got to do something. Even paying the minimum on one and all the rest on one card - getting that paid off and then moving to the next card and then the final. . . . it all takes too long.

And maybe thats what it's gonna take - but I hope not. GGGGGRRRRRRR stupid debt!!!

All you parents out there - PLEASE teach your children about money. Teach them that it is tool that and that it doesn't have to be used every day. That they should use only what they have and not get stupid credit cards. Or if they do - teach them to put a little on and then pay it off right away. Parents please teach your kids fiscal responsibility.

I realize that I'm now almost 27 and the position I'm in now is my fault but you can prevent this from happening to your kids!! Please parents - talk to your kids about money and what it looks like to use it responsibly, to save, to give it away.

Just couldn't resist!!!

2009-10-09T13:30:00.002-05:00

From this link

FOXNews.com
October 09, 2009

How to Win the Nobel Peace Prize In 12 Days

Let’s take a look at the president’s first 12 days in the White House according to his public schedule to see what he did to deserve a Nobel Peace Prize.

Editor's Note: Although President Obama had only been in office for 12 days before the nominations for this year's Nobel Peace prize closed the entire process actually takes a full year. According to the official Nobel Prize Web site invitation letters are sent out in September. Every year, the Norwegian Nobel Committee sends out thousands of letters inviting a qualified and select number of people to submit their nominations for the Nobel Peace Prize. The deadline to submit nominations is February 1. -- Two hundred five names were submitted for the 2009 Nobel Peace Prize, 33 of which are organizations. A short list of nominees is prepared in February and March. The short list is subject to adviser review from March until August. At the beginning of October, the Nobel Committee chooses the Nobel Peace Prize Laureates through a majority vote. The decision is final and without appeal. The names of the Nobel Peace Prize Laureates are then announced."
Barack Obama won the Nobel Peace Prize this morning. Over the last decade the only requirement to win the prize was that the nominee had to be critical of George W. Bush (see Al Gore, Mohamed El Baradei and Jimmy Carter).
President Obama has broken new ground here. Nominations for potential winners of the 2009 Nobel Peace Prize ended on February 1. The president took office only 12 days earlier on January 20.

Let’s take a look at the president’s first 12 days in the White House according to his public schedule to see what he did to deserve a Nobel Peace Prize:

January 20: Sworn in as president. Went to a parade. Partied.

January 21: Asked bureaucrats to re-write guidelines for information requests. Held an “open house” party at the White House.

January 22: Signed Executive Orders: Executive Branch workers to take ethics pledge; re-affirmed Army Field Manual techniques for interrogations; expressed desire to close Gitmo (how’s that working out?)

January 23: Ordered the release of federal funding to pay for abortions in foreign countries. Lunch with Joe Biden; met with Tim Geithner.

January 24: Budget meeting with economic team.

January 25: Skipped church.

January 26: Gave speech about jobs and energy. Met with Hillary Clinton. Attended Geithner's swearing in ceremony.

January 27: Met with Republicans. Spoke at a clock tower in Ohio.

January 28: Economic meetings in the morning, met with Defense secretary in the afternoon.

January 29: Signed Ledbetter Bill overturning Supreme Court decision on lawsuits over wages. Party in the State Room. Met with Biden.

January 30: Met economic advisers. Gave speech on Middle Class Working Families Task Force. Met with senior enlisted military officials.

January 31: Took the day off.

February 1: Skipped church. Threw a Super Bowl party.

So there you have it. The short path to the Nobel Peace Prize: Party, go to meetings, skip church, release federal funding to pay for abortions in foreign countries, party some more.

Good grief.

Read more Tommy De Seno at http://www.justifiedright.com/

77 More days

2009-10-09T06:55:00.002-05:00

I can't believe that (well two things I can't believe) - that I've posted everyday since I started my 100 day countdown until Christmas, and I can't believe that I'm already to 77!! It's crazy!

Now that I have that out of my system (well not truly out - but I can now contain my joy a little bit! Might have to go back to some Christmas music - I've taken a hiatus so as not to burn out too fast)

There are several things flowing through my brain right now, several things that I want to write about - need to write about but I just wrote and deleted about 3 paragraphs worth because it didn't come out right.

One is about living with my sister, and one is about my moving to Russia.

I'll tackle one at a time.

Living with my sister:
I like living with my sister. It means I'm not alone, we generally get along, her crazy "boyfriend" never comes over, and it's CHEAP - which is good cause I couldn't handle it on my own.
Why I don't like living with my sister. She's one of those people that is very selfish. She won't do anything for anyone else. Occasionally she'll ask if I want her to pick something up from the store or offer to buy dinner but that's once in a blue moon. She never helps to pick up around the house and she doesn't really take out the trash. She won't help in the kitchen, and she doesn't cook. All things aren't bad -but all together they are starting to get on my nerves. We supposedly have jobs in the kitchen. I cook, clean, wash the dishes and she "puts them away". Except she never gets around to it before I have another full sink and I end up putting them away several days later! Don't get me started on weekends when I'm gone and the dishwasher is full of clean dishes. I come home to that still full and both sinks stacked (they were empty when I left). So I go ahead and unload and load and then clean. She also gets in moods where she didn't use any of the dishes in the dishwasher and even though they are clean she didn't dirty them so she doesn't want to unload and I end up unloading them again. So basically I do it all. I take out the trash (mind you I'm the only one that cooks so most of the trash is mine - which probably contributes to the fact of why she won't take it OUTSIDE OUR DOOR), I cook, I wash the dishes, and I put them away.

Now don't get me started on the living room and vacuuming. I don't think she's touched that in the two years we've lived together. I'll clean up and take her stuff to her room, but if any of my stuff is in there no way - she's not doing anything.

Please realize I'm just blowing off steam, and while she's no angel I'm not perfect either. I get so fed up that I don't clean the kitchen very much anymore just to see what she'll do (the answer is nothing). I don't take my clothes out of the dryer when they are done - so she has to throw them on the couch (instead of putting them on my bed which is what I do with her clothes when she leaves them in there.

If I could afford it- believe me I'd be out on my own - but as it stands I can't. So I must find a way to work it out. I know that I can. I know I just have to get off my lazy butt and do what I know needs to be done. So tonight the kitchen will get cleaned, the floor will get vacuumed, my room will be cleaned and rearranged, and she'll never know. It's the Dinkins' way.

I'll save Russia for later. Tune in tomorrow when there's only 76 more days.

78 More days

2009-10-08T07:10:00.002-05:00

I don't have much to say this morning . . . . except working with the kids every Wednesday is amazing. Even last night when I had a headache and all I wanted to do was go home and go to sleep and not have any sound come within 10 feet of me. My headache didn't go away - it was always there - but it went away enough for me to enjoy the kids laughing and playing, singing, and even making monkey sounds as they ate the heads off their monkey animal cookies.

We made bags last night for an organization called My Brothers Keeper so that families in our area are able to have Thanksgiving meal. Now when I say made - I mean they used stickers, and pumpkin cut outs, and turkey cut outs, and glue, and markers to decorate brown sacks from Krogers. But they really did a great job and I'm SO glad that I'm working with them each week!!

Moving a little slow this morning still so I'd better get to work!!!

(Can you believe I've posted for over 20 days straight!!! I know - I can't either!!)

Now only 79 days left!!

2009-10-07T06:49:00.002-05:00

As I alluded to last night - today I'll be posting about the meeting that happened last night. I was asked to be apart of the missions team at my church and I'm very excited about that for a few reasons. Some are a little more obvious than others, and some I mentioned last night while rambling on about how my tongue loses all functionality and my brain goes dead, and my knees lose the ability to remain locked in place, and my thighs go numb . . .you know the normal things that happen to me when I get up in front of people. Not just people I don't know - usually it's better in front of people I don't know, and kids - I can get up any time, any where in front of kids- but adults . . . . .ummm no. But again - we covered this all last night at 10:45.

Where was I again . . . . . Oh yes - why I'm excited about the meeting.

I'm excited to be apart of a group of people who have a heart, passion, and love for missions- and not just in that - "I know God's called us all to be missionaries - yay God" kind of way. No this group of people is comprised of men and women who are so moved by the lost, and the desire to make God's love and name known to the world that they would leave their families to go on scouting parties to search out where God is calling us next. A group of men and women moved to tears over stories of how truck loads of men are being shipped in to have their way with little girls, or about the little babies in Russia who will never see the outside of an orphanage or mental institution in their lives all because they were not held, loved, or talked to. Men and women moved by the Spirit, sensitive to where God is leading and not only that but OBEDIENT (or as one of them called it last night- Radical Obedience - yup I just stole that!!) to the call. Not just hearing and feeling the guidance but not doing anything about it (tap tap tap - is this thing on. . . .. attention me 10 years ago - sound familiar!!!)

I'm so glad that this is in place now, a group of people who's intent is to inform, equip, and instill in everyone from the kids to youth to adults that same passion and understanding of missions and how to go from the call to actually going where the call says to go and do what He says to do.

This is especially near and dear to me because back when I first felt called to missions I didn't know what to do with it. I didn't know where to go, what to do, or what the first step should be so I didn't go anywhere. I got sucked back into everyday life and that passion that God had put in my heart went away. I don't ever want that to happen to anyone else. Had there been someone to work with me, and help me think about things I would have done things to entirely different!!

For instance if I were to work with a high schooler now who is called to the mission field I would first and foremost talk to them about finances in a way no one talked to me. Still in high school they haven't accumulated much debt. I'd make sure they knew NOT to get into debt in the first place, not to get credit cards with high limits, to get things and pay off the entire amount that month. To start a savings account that they don't touch. To begin learning about the country they want to go serve in, if necessary begin learning the language. I would point them in the direction of organizations that can help them go where they are wanting to go. I would not just let them sit there with all this hope of where God is leading and no map or direction of how to get there.

If there were someone like that for me way back then I have a feeling my life would look completely different right now. I realize now that I was SO not ready to be out on the mission field back then, but so many other things would have been taken care of, I don't think the debt I've accrued would have been so severe and I would most likely have gotten to a point where I was usable to God a lot faster.

So that's one of the MAIN reasons I'm so happy to be apart of this team. To help people - youth and adults alike funnel the mission that God's placed in their hearts. To be an available resource for those with questions and not just someone to nod their head and say hmmm . . . let me pray about that, or pray for you - all the while their face and tone says - you're not cut out for missions, you don't know what you're wanting to get into - it's not for you (not that there's anything wrong with praying - hear my heart! I just got that reaction from some people close to me and that along with the lack of resources to know how to get from point A to point B contributed to me putting what God called me to on the back burner). I can't wait to see where God is leading through this.

One of those things is Going Global - the big yearly mission push for our church. A time when we introduce all the things we've got planned for the year, all the big trips, all the weekly mission opportunities. . . ect.

I've also volunteered to take over/assist with the missions Blog - and I hope that all my faithful (again yet sometimes stealthy) readers will go over once it's set up and revamped and tell all your friends. The site once set up will be: www.praysendgo.blogspot.com It's kind of the three principles of the missions team and what we feel like God's called us to. To pray, send, and go.

That's all I've got time for this morning - talk to you all tomorrow!

Still 80 more days

2009-10-06T22:44:00.002-05:00

Just had a random comment for my faithful - yet for the most part - stealthy readers (many thanks for those who comment!!)

Tonight I had the first of what I hope to be many incredible meetings with the missions team at my church. As you can tell from my blog - I've got a certain passion for missions and well - obviously for Russia - so I'm VERY excited to see help out in any way I can and share my passion and help others realize the call that God has for them and what that looks like - and not just that but what to do with it so that what happened to me doesn't happen to them.

But thats really tomorrows post. . . .

Tonight I pose a question. Albeit random - it still haunts me.

When praying out loud - why do I; sweat profusely, lose all connection between my brain and my words, talk really really really fast making no sense and then just stop randomly cause I'm outta words.

Does this happen to anyone else - or am I alone in this one. I don't know what it is - whether it goes back to when I was in like the 1st or 2nd grade in Sunday School when I was asked to pray for the Memorial Golf tournament for this guy and I prayed he would get a hole in one not knowing he was dead. I was so embarrassed I skipped Sunday school for the better part of 2-3 months. I would hide in the sanctuary (literally under the camera stand in the back of the gym - there was black material that covered it to the ground and I would crawl back there and color during the first service and then come out for the second) instead of going to class to face all those cruel kids!! Or it could be that my words NEVER come out right when I'm speaking. I've never been one that could say what was on her mind right then and there - again with the disconnect. But give me a keyboard and a blog, or my journal and a pen and the words flow and flow and flow.

Sometimes I think it's because of lack of spiritual maturity that I can't pray out loud like everyone else, or say the words or phrases that sound so "mature and Godly" but then I step back and go - ummmm - I can't speak eloquently anyways - prayer or no prayer. I just don't do well on the spot.

I guess this whole long thing is to ask the question - what do you think? Do you think there are some people who just are unable to pray out loud? Do you have problems praying out loud? Thoughts, comments, . . .. Bueler, Bueler. . . .

80 More Days

2009-10-06T06:52:00.003-05:00

I posted this on my facebook yesterday - lately I've been mirroring these two - but only on the short things. When I really have things to vent, or open up about I save it all for you guys - don't you feel loved?!?!

Anyhoo - so yesterday I got into work at about 6:30 and before I knew it at 9 am there were 4 empty diet coke cans ALREADY in my trash can - and this is what I had by the time I left at 4. . . . there were (yes count them and don't forget that one hiding at the bottom).

If you counted correctly you would count 8!! I drank 8 diet cokes in a 9.5 hour span. that's almost a dc an hour - and would have been had I not had a meeting I had to go to and been running around scanning, making copies, getting name badges, showing some guys who were measuring for new cubes around, and standing around shooting the breeze with my American Boss - (hey - when you're wanting him to take you on to his budget full time - you shoot the breeze any time he wants too!!)

My prayer is that today is not nearly as busy, and that I don't consume near this amount. . . we'll see :) As a friend asked me last night - how is my stomach not already turned to acid - pretty sure it already was before all the coke -but that's just me :)

Happy "only 80 more days til Christmas"

81 more days

2009-10-05T12:19:00.002-05:00

The quote from yesterday was from the sermon that morning as is this quote:

"Maturity in the Christian life is not measured by how bad I was or how good I am - but by the fact that I am no longer what I once was."

What do you think?