53 days and 8 hours

For those that care :-)

Lately I've been in that kind of place where I feel like I am every so often. I feel like I'm on the brink of where God wants me but not quite there. I don't feel like I'm OUT of His will - just not perfectly in it. He has given me so many gifts; my artistic ability, my servant attitude, ability to lead and follow. . . but I'm not in a place where they are being used. Right now I'm in a job I like - but I do nothing but sit behind a computer all day and read reports. I'm not complaining, mind you. I am VERY grateful for a job, especially when there are many people who don't have one - but sometimes I just feel like I was made for something more.

The closest I've felt to being fully in God's will was when I was in Russia, well more specifically being with those kids who were thrown away. Making sure they knew that they were seen, worth something, and loved by God.

Since coming back, and changing jobs, that desire to work with kids who have been abandoned has not gone away. I started looking into ways I can do that kind of work here in the states, and while America doesn't have orphanages, there is no shortage for "children's homes" (translation - orphanages).

America uses the foster care system which can either be a hit or miss. HIT when you have a family that TRULY loves the children they welcome into their home, and when they work to help the child/children through the craziness that has been their life. MISS when you get greedy corrupt people who foster just for the money, and could care less about the well being of the children placed with them.

Children's homes can range anywhere from kids who have truly been orphaned, to those who are either in a bad situation at home, or need help away from home.

I've been looking into Girls and Boys Country, a boys and girls home near the Houston area. It's a Christian based campus that houses children from ages 5 to 18 years. I've started looking into what it would take to be a house parent, and while most places don't allow single house parents (I agree FULLY with this, same reason why I would never adopt without being married - but that's a whole other post), Boys and Girls Country allows singles to join in with current families to be the relief parent on the days that the "Parents" have off. I have been looking for the past month or so into different children's homes, and this is the first place that even mentions allowing singles to work there. I'm still looking into reviews for Boys and Girls Country - to see if it really is what it claims to be, but things I've found so far are good.

I don't yet know what I'm looking for ultimately, but I'm going to keep praying, and looking, and searching, and researching. My prayer is that if I'm not where I'm supposed to be that God would continue to make me uncomfortable until I'm where he wants me to be, and if I AM currently where I'm supposed to be, that I would learn to be content where I'm at.

I think that's enough for this rant.